What a week! So much action in so little time!
While it was not without its more mellow moments, this week really rejuvenated my interest in being in Asia for the year. Life may be a series of peaks and valleys, but this was definitely a peak (and literally a peak, as you'll see later). After having almost nothing to write about last week, I have started the habit of writing down strange and funny things that happen to me in a little notebook. My life here is pretty strange and funny (if you haven't picked up on that yet), and a lot of the strange stuff that happens to me has become so commonplace that I forget about it by the end of the week. Hopefully this note-taking habit cements itself and I can better share my bizarre Chinese existence.
Work went by very quickly this week, with Laura and I both deeply engaged in anticipation for our trip to Hong Kong on the weekend.
The kids are insane as always. There's this fellow in my class full of first graders whose name is Louis that is absolutely bonkers.
At least I think his name is Louis. On the very first day of class, when we learned introductions, he said "Hello my name is Louis I am six", so that's what I have been calling him all year. His textbook also has the name "Louis" written upon a sticker in big, black block letters. The other teacher, a Chinese lady named Becky, put that sticker there so I assume that this is correct.
However, lately he has been insisting that his name is Harry. The sticker on the textbook has also mysteriously vanished in recent weeks. This is not completely unorthodox. The children get to pick their own English names, after all, and since they are meaningless to them outside of class, the kids will elect to change their names from time to time according to their fancy. I have an older student who recently changed his name from "Bingo" to "Alec"once he learned that Bingo was a game that old ladies play, for example.
This isn't the only thing about Harry, though. Harry pretty clearly has a learning disability, and may have some form of cognitive impairment as well. This is sad, and I wish that the school (and China in general) had more resources to dedicate to getting this kid the help that he clearly needs. I help him out the best that I can when he is in my class, but it is really a losing battle. He is one of 35 kids in my classroom that demand constant attention, and I am unable to focus solely on him. Plus, any gains that I make in my classroom are lost as soon as he leaves. This is because, just like every other student in this school, Louis has 10 classes per day from 9am to 8pm. He sees 10 different teachers, at least half of them Chinese, and the other teachers clearly just treat him like a trouble maker or ignore him.
Louis is my little wild card and when he's not being adorable he drives me completely crazy. He likes to run around the room screaming, even when all the other kids are seated quietly in their seats. He frequently runs to a corner of the room and just screams colors at the corner ("BLUE RED GREEN!"). He also likes to interrupt other kids who are raising their hands to answer questions by shouting their names at me ("HIS NAME IS HUGO! JON THIS IS HUGOOOOOOOO").
Louis is frequently taking his clothes off, or stretching his shirt over his entire body like a turtle retreating into its shell.
Not satisfied at just performing these strange little behaviors by himself, Louis is extremely confrontational with the other children. Now, China has slightly different standards than the US, and so the students are generally more physical with each other than they would be allowed on the other side of the Pacific. Hits, slaps, and punches are very common here and, even though I don't allow it, the Chinese teachers have no problem with it. Louis takes it to a completely different level altogether. He is like a drunken kickboxer on a mission to take down the cartels who kidnapped and murdered his teenage daughter. He flies around at a lightning pace, seemingly careening off the walls in a manner that can only be described as "Keanu Reeves-esque".
This week I had two notable Louis interactions. First of all, I was teaching the verb "to be" in my class. I was going through the motions and, with a little initial difficulty, the kids appeared to be getting it. "I am, you are, he/she is" etc etc etc. I started using the kids in my examples to get them more engaged. "I am Jon. You are Wing. She is Sharon. He is Sam".
I walked over to Louis and said "He is Louis". Louis immediately stood up and yelled "NO I AM A GIRL". I laughed and said "no you are a boy!". Then other kids started jumping in: "Louis is a girl!". The Chinese teacher, Becky, was in the room and even though she was paying attention she did not correct the kids.
I panicked. Had I made a careless mistake? After 3 full months of knowing this kid had I failed to notice that he was actually a she? I looked down at Louis. Louis definitely looked like a boy. Gender rules are very clearly defined in China. Boys and girls dress very differently, act very differently, and
have very different hair styles. Louis very clearly exemplified the Chinese definition of "male" in all of these aspects.
My next thought was that perhaps the children had confused the English words for boy/girl and he/she. This is somewhat easy to do because there is no distinction between he, she, and "it" in Chinese. The word is just "ta" (The Chinese characters are different though, with 他 meaning "he" and 她 meaning "she" and 它 meaning "it"). I did some impromptu quizzing and determined that all of the kids seemed to understand which word was which pretty well.
I have asked the other teachers and everyone agrees that Louis is definitely a boy, so I will probably never know why the entire class decided he was a girl that day. Maybe it was a joke, but nobody was laughing. Maybe Louis identifies as female and told his friends that, but I'm skeptical. I think it will just be a mystery forever.
The other Louis incident this week involved him picking up his neighbor's box of markers and throwing them aggressively across the room. The reason why he did this became apparent immediately. After his neighbor got up to retrieve the tossed marker box, Louis picked up his neighbor's chair and put it on his head like a hat. He also started gnawing off one of the legs of the chair. So that's why he threw the markers, so that he could wear and eat a chair hat.
Not to be outdone, my older kids have been acting especially strange this week too. Wendy, one of the quieter girls in my third grade class raised her hand the other day and said "Jon you are so handsome!". I didn't know how to respond to this. I suspect it was a prank of some kind, because this is the class that likes to say "Jon how can you be so fat?" and "Jon is so ugly" and "The other Americans are handsome and thin. You are ugly and fat", but it was a nice change of pace. Wendy got a gold star that day, regardless.
Kelvin, another third grader, learned the words "shit" and "fuck" this week. I'm not sure where he picked these words up, although it wouldn't surprise me if it was from the Chinese English teachers. The Chinese English teachers swear quite a bit, especially Jason. I think it's because they know that
most of their colleagues and almost all of the students won't understand what they are saying.
Either way, I'm not sure how to deal with it. Kelvin is a smart kid, but he is also a little weasel. If I tell him to stop saying those things, he's just going to say them more. Zac has said that when kids in his classes started swearing he tried to make them stop, but that it just caused ALL the kids to start using the words. So far it doesn't seem like any of the other students have picked up on his habit, so I've been ignoring it. We'll see if he gets bored of the words soon.
Oh! I need to talk about eyebrow man.
So, there's a security gate in front of our apartment block. It's sort of silly, because they just open the gate for anyone at any time of the day or night. Also there's a gate for cars that leaves a big huge gap, so when the security guard is not looking/is sleeping/is not in his booth (which is all the time), you can just go underneath the car gate blocker thing. I think it's more about show than actual security, which is funny because our apartment block is really nothing special at all. It's pretty run down and there's hardly anything worth securing inside, but who am I to judge?
Anyway, the security guards sit in their booths 24/7. We've developed a bit of a relationship with them, since they see us a few times every day. We don't really talk to them, but I am always sure to wave and smile and offer a friendly 早上好 (good morning) or 晚上好 (good evening) whenever I pass by.
For some reason or another the security guards are often joined by geriatrics in their booth. There's a few different guys and one lady. It's never more than one old person and one security guard, and it's not all the time either. Sometimes, though, an old person will be sitting with the guard in his little booth. I'm not sure what they are there for, because they are clearly not working. They usually just sit and stare off into the distance in the way that old people tend to do from time to time. I think they must either be the parents of one of the guards, or maybe just bored and lonely old people who live in the community.
Either way, one of the older gentlemen that frequents the booth from time to time has the LONGEST EYEBROWS I HAVE EVER SEEN. This guys basically uses his wiry white old eyebrow hairs as a comb-over for his aging bald head. It's nuts! I want to be his friend and to someday get good enough at Chinese that I can be like "dude what's up with those eyebrows". I may have to try and sneak a photo of this guy someday so that everyone can bask in the glory of his several-standard-deviations-from-the-norm-length eyebrows.
After a week full of eyebrows and gender bending, Friday finally arrived. We finished up our day of work and went to the bus station. We were off! Hong Kong ahead!
The bus ride was uneventful if not a little bit terrifying. Bus drivers here all act like they're the star of the damned Fast and Furious franchise. Just like Maccau we had to go through customs to get to Hong Kong. This is because, just like Maccau, Hong Kong is a part of China but is under a different political system. It functions as a separate country most of the time, and the Chinese government is very careful about which mainlanders can and cannot go there.
Unlike Maccau, though, Hong Kong is another hour or so drive after you cross the "border". This means that after you clear customs you are supposed to get back on the bus and drive. Since this is China, though, nothing ever goes smoothly.
Something I noticed while waiting in line for customs was that there were signs everywhere for the "vote for the best customs official" contest. We had barely walked 10 steps over the border into Hong Kong and already people were being encouraged to vote on something. I noticed this many times during the weekend. People in Hong Kong have votes and polls on EVERYTHING. Best pizza, best coffee, best subway, best employee, etc etc etc. You don't really see anything like this on the mainland.
After annoying customs experience wherein the computer crashed 3 times while they were trying to scan my passport, we ran into even more trouble. You see, you don't necessarily have to board the same bus on the other side of the border once you are through customs. In theory this should make things more simple, but in reality it leads to total chaos. There were a number of buses at the station, all bound for different points and different islands in the Hong Kong area and the signs didn't make any sense. Oh yeah, Hong Kong uses "traditional" Chinese characters instead of the "simplified" ones that the mainland uses. Essentially this means that everything is in a different language.
We asked questions and eventually got it sorted out, but we learned that we had missed the last bus going to Causeway Bay (which is where our hostel was). We ended up boarding a bus that dropped us off somewhat closer to where we needed to be, and then took a subway to our hostel.
First impressions of Hong Kong; WOW! This place was so incredible. It was like China and New York City had a baby. It was just like the rest of China, but it had everything I love and miss about western culture as well. The English speaking abilities of the average Chinese person in Hong Kong are significantly higher than on the mainland as well. We had a much easier time getting around and asking questions and ordering food than we normally do.
It was a little bit scarier than the mainland as well. There are a lot more homeless people and beggars in Hong Kong, and a lot more crime (not that we witnessed any crime this weekend, but the rates are higher). Not to worry, though, everything went off without a hitch for most of the weekend.
We checked into our hostel and were surprised by the kindness of the guy running the place. He gave us a free upgrade to a private room with its own bathroom! Most of the dorms in this hostel had to share a communal toilet, but for whatever reason this guy was feeling charitable and we were happy to take the offer! We were the only Americans staying at the hostel that weekend; most everyone else who was lodging there was for Germany. I wanted to make some friends and practice my very rusty German, but I ended up chickening out. Oh well... next time.
Our room was very small, but also very clean. The beds were super comfortable after living in china for four months, and having our own bathroom ended up being really great. The only negative about our room was really that the walls were incredibly thin, and being on the second floor of a building next to a busy street meant that it was very loud the entire time. Also, our room was down the street from the lobby. Apparently space is so few and far between in Hong Kong that the hostel was only able to rent out enough space in one building for the lobby, and had to put the rooms in other equally precious spaces in buildings all over the street. I have to say it was a little bit strange walking around with our keys and our towels in the middle of the road, but it was definitely an experience!
Despite being 11pm, Laura and I had not eaten dinner yet, so we ventured through the area around our hostel a little bit. We found some really interesting shops, got our first view of Victoria Bay, and found a whole bunch of pet stores. After petting cats for a bit, we settled on a restaurant called The Royal Pub.
The Royal Pub was the first of 5 or 6 consecutive perfect meals we had in Hong Kong. Hong Kong is basically regular China, except with perfect and delicious Western food everywhere you turn. Hong Kong is regular China, except with garlic bread.
At the Royal Pub, I enjoyed a plate of Spaghetti and Squid Ink topped with two Salmon Fillets while Laura had Lamb Chops and a side of Fried Chicken. I am not a food blogger, but let me just tell you that this meal was immaculate. I've never eaten anything so good, and I didn't anything so good ever again... until our next meal in Hong Kong.
We were both so exhausted from the bus rides and the customs kerfuffles and the cat petting that we decided to go to bed after dinner.
The next morning we went over to the lobby for our complimentary morning coffee, and were very disappointed to see that the coffee had run out well before the official 10 O'clock stopping time. Damn those Germans! Instead we mosied around town until we found a breakfast place that served coffee.
We found a joint that was owned by a fellow from Singapore. Their specialty was "steamed bread", which made for an interesting breakfast. Basically they prepare the dish in the style that Chinese people prepare Baozi or Dumplings, but instead of either of those they just put a cut up sandwich in there. It was interesting, and also pretty delicious. We also split a corn beef hash breakfast sandwich, which went very well with our coffees. Perfect meal #2: accomplished!
We spent the next 12 hours walking around. Seriously we walked ALLLL DAAYY. My little pedometer in my phone registered that we walked 45,000 steps on Saturday, which is more than it logged when I ran my marathon. I'm not sure how accurate it is, but let me tell you that my feet and legs certainly agreed with me.
In our adventuring we saw many amazing buildings, and peeked into a number of interesting shops. We found a candy store that seemed like it was right out of Willy Wonka, and Laura found a candle store that reminded us both of Bath and Body Works.
We spent some time in Hong Kong Park, a lovely little place with its own built in aviary. At the aviary we got to see a number of beautiful tropical birds from all over the world, and we were even lucky enough to be present at the Hornbill enclosure for feeding time.
A lot of the buildings in Hong Kong are shopping malls (typical Asia, amiright?). We went through some of these as well, and marveled at how ridiculously expensive everything was. The shopping malls were a stark contrast to the abject poverty that surrounded them on the outside, which made for a sad comparison.
We stopped for lunch at a real life Mexican Restaurant, owned and operated by a delightful man from Mexico. Laura and I felt like we had found mecca. The burritos were tantamount to a religious experience after more than 4 months of a refried-bean-free existence. During our meal we chatted with the owner for a while and commiserated about the general lack of Mexican food all over China. We discussed how a lot of restaurants will claim to have "Mexican' products such as Mexican Hamburgers, but in reality all this means is that they have thrown some Jalapenos on it. We never wanted to leave, but alas there was more of the city to see.
After seeing just about everything there was to see on Hong Kong Island, we hopped back on the subway and made our way to Kowloon, the neighboring island. Kowloon had more fun buildings and architecture. We happened upon a free concert outside near the HK Art Museum, and enjoyed some tunes. We also went for a walk on the promenade surrounding Victoria bay and enjoyed the "Avenue of the Stars". Similar to the walk of fame in Los Angeles, this avenue of the stars has all the hand prints of Chinese cinema's greatest actors and actresses. There was even a life-sized Bruce Lee!
As the sun began to sink we made our way to one of the world's most famous night markets. The Temple Street market was pretty cool, but ultimately disappointing. There are still plenty of cities in China to see, and plenty of night markets, but I am starting to feel like if you've seen one night market then you've definitely seen them all.
It was pretty big, I will give it that, but they just had the standard fare of clothes, belts, cell phone cases, and junky electronics. Nothing too exciting.
We headed back to the water, sat down, and watched the lights come on at the most famous city skyline in the entire world. It was a beautiful site, and we easily lost an hour just staring into the lights.
Even though we were starting to get hungry, we decided to head toward Victoria Peak, the last big tourist destination on our "must see" list. To get to the top of the mountain required a ride on the Peak Tram, which is 120 year old funicular. The tram ride was fun, and it was incredible how steeply up the mountain it was able to climb.
Once we got to the top we ended up in a shopping mall. Yes, the top of the mountain is just a shopping mall. There was a Madame Tussauds was museum and several insanely over-priced restaurants (including Bubba Gumps Shrimp Co! Haha). We weren't interested in any of this, though, and headed right to the top of the mall for the Skyview viewing station.
Seeing Hong Kong city from above at the top of the mountain was an absolutely unforgettable experience. It was breathtaking in more ways than one. Not only was it beautiful, but the wind was blowing so fiercely that I was more than a little afraid of being blown right off! The peak was crowded, but we managed to get a great viewing point.
Also on the roof of the mall was this 20 foot high inflatable gummy bear thing. I have no idea why it was there or who put it there, but it looked kind of dumb.
The line to go back down the mountain was even longer than the line to go up. Because of the way the funicular system is designed, the tramway only has two cars on it, each of which can only seat about 30 people. We probably waited for an hour to go up, but we waited for well over an hour to go back down. At this point we were exhausted, starving, and cold. That wait was pretty miserable.
After our descent down the mountain we started the walk back toward our hostel. On the way we spotted a little Thai restaurant and decided to check it out.
PERFECT MEAL #3. This little unassuming place was by far the best Thai food I ever had. Laura and I couldn't even talk, we were too busy enjoying the edible paradise on our plates that the little Thai woman brought us. I never wanted to leave, but seeing as it was pushing 11 O'clock, we had to make our move.
Once again we were utterly exhausted from our day and did not do much "night life" exploring.
Sunday meant one thing to me, and that is brunch. After doing some research we decided on a nearby place called "The Brunch Club". We walked inside and were suddenly transported back to Ann Arbor. This little shop would have fit in so perfectly in an American college town that I kept forgetting that I was in Asia.
I had the Eggs Benedict, and Laura went for the fancier sounding croque monsieur. We obviously had loads of coffee and we also splurged and got the homemade artisan breadbasket. We stayed for a long time and just enjoyed the atmosphere.
After emerging we decided it was high time to head home. We made our way to the nearest bus station and our troubles began. The bus stop lady could not speak any English, which was odd considering it was Hong Kong. Luckily I'm used to ordering tickets in Chinese. I asked for two tickets to Foshan and she said no. I pointed to the sign that said that they sold tickets to Foshan at this stop, and she said "no" again.
Confused, we walked to a nearby hotel and talked to the fluent concierge. He explained to us that this place does not sell tickets to Foshan and pointed us to the nearest station that does sell tickets: on the other side of town.
We got on the subway with our stuff and made our way to the second bus station. This lady informed me that they DO sell tickets to Foshan, but that the next 6 buses were all sold out. The only bus leaving Hong Kong for Foshan that wasn't full was the very last bus of the day at 7:30pm bus, which had two seats left on it. We bought our tickets and then had to figure out what to do for the next 5 hours.
I was sort of happy that we had more time to spend in HK, but now that we had checked out of our hotel and spent almost all of our HK money, we were kind of trapped.
We spent the day walking around and sitting in parks and eating snacks. Overall it wasn't a bad day, but I was very frustrated with the bus system and my continuing bad luck when it comes to buses.
Eventually it was time to board our bus. We got back to customs and had another customs mishap. The officials REFUSED to believe that Laura was the same person as is in her passport picture. They had to call over 3 or 4 other people and all the officials had an argument because only 1 person believed that she was really the same person. It almost got scary for a minute, but they let us go.
We got to the other side and had more bus trouble. Once again we apparently missed our bus, and found out that the next bus from the customs depot to Foshan wasn't until 9pm. I was livid, but there was nothing I could do. We sat around and read more and ate more snacks.
Eventually a bus showed up and we got home safely.
Overall the Hong Kong experience was pretty incredible. Bus issues aside, I would happily repeat any of it again. In fact we may go back in a month or two. While we were there we stocked up on western essentials (like deodorant, which is very hard to find in mainland China!) and it was just nice to take a break from some of the Chinese things like terrible school food and rude pushy people.
This week is Thanksgiving, and Laura and I are going to try and do something special for the day. We'll see how it turns out.
Until next time!
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