Week 46 and 47: Hong Kong Hang Time, or, Branger Danger

This was a fantastic week because my good buddy Bryan came all the way to China to visit Laura and I!

Once again, even the same tired old crap that I do in Foshan seemed fun. We went to some great restaurants and treated Bryan to the night market experience. A great memory I will always have is absolutely destroying a whole pot full of crayfish together.

It was a good week for Bryan to come as well since, surprise!, we had very little to do at school this week. We managed to give him a pretty good tour of the school on Friday, though. I wanted him to come to one of my classes and "test" the kids' English skills on a new person, but it didn't come to pass.

With his coming and now going, Laura and I no longer have any visitors coming this year. On the one hand, it's exciting because we're so close to being done, but on the other hand it is a little depressing. All of our visitors this year have really helped us get through some tough months, and Bryan was no exception. It's already halfway through the month of June over here! Time flies when you're having fun, and having company is a great way to have a good time.

We ended the week with a trip to Hong Kong. I was really excited to go back and to experience all the wonderful things HK has to offer. I was also hoping to experience some new things, and we managed to do both!

Just like the trip to Manila, this weekend was largely about food. Sure, we took Bryan to all of the major sights in Hong Kong (we did the boat ride, the walk of stars, and the top of Victoria Peak), but snack time was where it was at!

The highlight of the weekend was my very first ever Dim Sum experience. After waiting this long, I decided I wanted to do it right. We went to Tim Ho Wan, a Michellan Starred restaurant on Kowloon island. I can safely say it was the best Dim Sum I've ever had, but that would undermine just how delicious it was. The pork buns alone were worth the trip. Hell, the pork buns were worth this entire year in China.

This weekend also marks the first time that I ever used AirBNB. Brybry swears by it, but it was new to me. It, too, was fantastic. Staying in a real lived-in home is so much better than a hotel or a hostel. Cheaper and more personable than a hotel, but much quieter and less smelly than a hostel. I think I found my new favorite way to travel!

Aside from the Pork Buns and the Mountain Peak, there is not too much else to note about the weekend. We just enjoyed each other's company and wandered around the vibrant and awesome city. Another cool restaurant was Bao Wow, a place that made Eastern/Western fusion "Bao sandwiches" based loosely on the Baozi steamed buns of China. Amazing!

The bus ride to HK was a lot more interesting than the bus ride back. On the ride toward HK we ended up sitting next to some very chatty Hong Kong citizens who work in Foshan during the week. Their English was perfect and they wanted to learn all about us. It is always really great chatting with friendly and warm people in China, because it is so unexpected. Everyone has different experiences, obviously, and most of our coworkers love how "friendly the Chinese are", but for Laura and I the experience has been largely the opposite. Most people ignore us unless they want to gape and take pictures, and a lot of people are very rude. Friendliness goes a long way toward making me feel good in Asia, and it was a very nice bus ride.

We were sad to see Bryan go, but he had to return to the USA and go back to earning his PhD in something or another, and we had to go back to work.

I've been very active this past week since Laura was a wonderful girlfriend and bought me a new pair of shoes! It has been really great being able to run again and not be in constant pain from the flat and holey shoes of yesteryear. Laura bought them online and then had them shipped to Bryan in Boston, who then was nice enough to schlep them all the way to China. What a pal.

It is always a bummer to come back to the mainland after a weekend in Hong Kong, but this weekend it was especially hard. The knowledge that I have just one month left before I'm back in Hong Kong and boarding a plane out of China is constantly on my mind. Time is moving so slowly! I know I should enjoy the time that we have left, and savor the few things that I truly love here (like night markets), but I'm so very ready to take the next step of my life.

To make matters slightly worse, our next trip was very unceremoniously cancelled at the last minute. The weekend of the 19th was supposed to be a train trip to Xiamen city in Fujian province. I was very excited to see the famous Tulou round houses of Fujian and also the beautiful coastline of Xiamen. Unfortunately, even though we booked the train tickets through a travel agent over 2 months ago, she emailed us on June 5 to tell us that she forgot to buy the tickets, and that they were all now sold out. Luckily she gave us our money back, but she told us of her mistake way too late for us to re-book anywhere. Once again, the weekend of the 19th is a nation-wide holiday in China, so there are over 1 Billion people buying train and plane tickets and going to all of the scenic places in the country.

School wise, things have been winding down. The children are absolutely dead on their feet every single day now. I can't say that I blame them. The school system in this country is so intense, it's a wonder that the kids are able to accomplish it. They have school from mid August until mid July every single year. During the school year, they have class 5.5 days a week (including Sunday afternoons) from 7am until 9pm. Yes, they get a month off in February, and yes they get a 2 hour nap in the middle of the day, but it's clear when you look into the faces of these children that they are completely exhausted. It makes teaching hard because participation drops off, and even the best-behaved children become antsy, cranky, and disruptive.

Yes, we can compare test scores between China and the USA and see that China does better on things like Math, but I have to wonder if it is worth it. The cost is that these kids do not get any sort of childhood to enjoy and have fun, and that they are tired and miserable a large chunk of the time. And what is the benefit? They get *slightly* higher scores compared to other nations, but really the higher scores are not commensurate with the significant increase in the amount of time and effort that gets put into the system. They are working harder, yes, but not more efficiently. A lot of knowledge and learning is lost due to poor attentional skills and exhaustion.

This is not to say that the US is way better. We clearly have a LOT wrong with our school systems, that goes without saying. We could and definitely look toward other countries for ideas on how to improve our system, and we can even learn a lot from China, but I'm not sure that total emulation of their system is a good thing. We (and our kids) should work smarter, not just harder.

The weekend after HK, Laura and I took the FSOT. The FSOT is a test that is part of the application process to become a US Diplomat. While we were in Vietnam (way back in February already!) we met a man who is a current US Diplomat, and he spent some time telling us about the career. It is something that we were both very interested in, and one that we have been researching for a while.

The test is just a first step, and it's a difficult one. The Foreign Service department has one of the most difficult selection processes in the entire government. Apparently it is more difficult to get into the FSO program than it is to get into Harvard!

I can't talk about the test too much for confidentiality reasons, but it was challenging. I think I did well, however. The test took place at the US Embassy in Guangzhou. Laura and I kept saying to each other that it was nice to be back on US soil again. The grounds of the Embassy were really nice. It would have been nice to hang out there for a while, but obviously we had to be escorted out after taking the test.

Results on the test, and the news of whether or not we will get to move on to the next round of interviews, are at least 5 weeks away. I'll keep everyone posted.

My decision to pursue this career comes from one of the biggest things I have learned about myself this year. Even though China has had it's ups and downs, and has largely been disappointing, I have learned how much I love to travel. Traveling is something that is in my blood, and learning about other cultures and ways of life are just as important. A career like one in the Foreign Service would be a great chance to continue doing this and to make a decent living, while also being able to make a difference in the lives of a lot of people who need help.

But it's a long road, and a long way off. The future remains uncertain. For now I just have to keep working at this school and finish off the contract I agreed to.

Bring on the last month.

Week 45: The Rains of Foshan-mere, or, Chill-a in Manila

Okay I forgot to update for like 4 weeks again. Whoops! Instead of cramming 4 weeks of updates in one post, I'm going to subdivide these by each week. Here is what we did the last week of May!

In Foshan, May continued to be really rainy. Just inches and inches of rain every day. Luckily, the end of May was also significantly hotter than the beginning of the month!

If you like being too hot and ALSO too wet, I really recommend Foshan Springs (TM).

School is beginning to wind down. We still have a month left, sure, but at the same time we only have a month left! Remember what elementary school was like during the last month? Well it's like that here in China too. The teachers and kids are all sort of "done", and there are even more side activities and even fewer structured classes. It's making work a lot more fun, and everyone is excited for the summer.

One example of less-than-serious activities is that the children have been making dumplings in the courtyard. It has been a lot of fun watching the students learn how to make traditional Chinese foods, and it was even more fun getting in on the action.

Sure, it was kind of gross watching how none of the 1000 kids washed their hands, how they dropped food on the ground and put it back on the pan, and how sweaty they all were. It was 100 degrees and they were all outside in the sun with their rather-too-heavy school uniforms on.

Oh well, what the heck. It's China. If I'm not eating someone else's dirty sweat and hairs, then I'm not eating at all. The dumplings were pretty tasty too as long as I didn't think about them too much.

On Friday, there was a big celebration for "National Children's Day". They turned the entire school into a carnival with bouncy castles and games. Each of the foreign teachers were assigned to a station to help out.

I was given the "softball" station, which worked like the classic carnie game where you have to knock over milk bottles. It was the hottest day of the year so far (and also it didn't rain for once!), and we were all dying in the heat and the sun.

But it was still a lot of fun watching the little kids having a blast. They all got stamps on a page for winning the various games, and they were able to exchange the stamps for seriously big prizes at the end of the day (Legos!).

There aren't too many days here where I am able to feel like I 100% made the right decision to come to China. Even on days that are pretty good, I am confronted with doubt. Where would I be if I had stayed in the US and gotten a "real job"?

Children's Day was definitely a day where I had no regrets. I am so glad I'm here and so lucky I get to experience thousands of joyous children throwing beanbags at bottles of water in exchange for knockoff Legos.

With the end of the workweek came the end of June. All of the children in China got June 1 off of school as part of the Children's day celebration, so we got the day off too. Not content to just sit around in our bug ridden, mildewy apartment, Laura and I hopped on a plane and went to the Philippines.

We were happy to be accompanied on our trip with our good buddy Leon. He's a good travel companion, and we had a lot of fun. Unfortunately we only had time to go to Manila since it was just a three day weekend. Despite the truncated trip, I still think we got a good taste of the country and the culture of the Philippines, and we did manage to take a quick day trip outside of the city.

The biggest highlights of Manila, for me, was the food and the people. I still like Chinese food but I am SO sick of it! Filipino food was such a refreshing and delicious change of pace, I couldn't get enough of it.

Some of my favorite dishes that we got to try included chicharons (deep fried pig or chicken skin), lechon (crispy fried pork belly), sisig (deep fried pork face and potatoes), and buko pie (apple pie-style dish but with coconut instead). I probably gained five pounds over the weekend, and I still think about a lot of these dishes almost 3 weeks later. Sure, there was plenty of western food available too, but the Filipino food was where it was at.

Manila also had a ton of fast food chains. One of the major "gifts" that the US has left on the Philippines is a huge love of cheap and corporate fast food. In addition to all of the McDonalds and Pizza Huts, the Philippines have tons of their own chains. Jolly Bee is probably the biggest. There was a Jolly Bee on almost every corner of the city.

The people, too, were great. I'm not sure if it was just because of the fact that English is the official language of the company, and therefore much easier to communicate, but the Filipinos were really nice to be around. We had lots of conversations with locals at 7-11s or riding in Jeepneys, and everyone was much more smiley and polite than anything I have experienced in China.

Outside of the food and the people, Manila did not have a ton to offer. There was a pretty nice "oldtown" area that is full of Spanish colonial buildings and churches. This is where we spent most of the first afternoon. It is a big, dirty city with a lot of terrifyingly drastic poverty. Manila has definitely usurped Phnom Penh as the poorest place I have ever been. The poverty here was a lot more desperate and, frankly, a little bit scary. Nothing bad happened, but there were a few close calls this past weekend.

The worst area was definitely Binondo. Binondo is famous for being "the world's first Chinatown", so we kind of wanted to check it out. Big mistake. There was nothing there but slums and nearly naked children running in the streets. There was a lot of begging going on in Manila too.

Another shocking thing, for me, was the pollution. Manila wasn't as smoggy as China, but it was much more polluted. The river that runs through the city doesn't even run at all. It was almost completely solid and completely black. It was so sad and gross to see. The Philippines are some of the most beautiful islands on the planet, and here in the middle of the biggest island is some of the worst active polluting I have ever seen.

Despite these sad parts, it was still a very enjoyable weekend. The hostel that we stayed at was in the suburbs and was absolutely gorgeous. We had a built-in pool and some really friendly staff. The beds were comfortable, even though sleeping ended up being a challenge due to the insane heat. The Philippines are, somehow, way hotter than China or even the mainland of Southeast Asia. I couldn't believe it. So many times this year I have said to myself "surely this is the hottest and most sweaty place on Earth". I have been wrong every single time. I can't imagine what the middle east and west Africa are like....

Our first evening in the city we went to a famous restaurant called "The Aristocrat", and it was very enjoyable. After a delicious lechon and barbecue chicken dinner, we mosied down the street toward a bar area. While we enjoyed some of the local brew (San Miguel! Yummmm), the craziest rain storm of my life started. We ended up stranded in the bar for several hours as the entire city started to flood. We could see outside the windows that the water was very quickly rushing up to meet us. The rain eventually stopped, but Leon and Laura and I started worrying that the bar would flood. If it had rained for even a few more minutes, I think it would have. We banded together with the rest of the Filipino bar patrons, though, and spent the night eating Chicharones and singing Karaoke.

The second day we hopped a bus and left the city for the Batangas region. We trekked to the world's smallest active volcano, and enjoyed the "wilderness" a little bit. The countryside of Luzon island is really beautiful and, heat or no, was a great way to spend a day. True to expectations, the countryside was quieter, cleaner, and even more friendly. We had a delicious lunch at a mom and pop style place that overlooked the volcano before hiring a guy and a motorcycle to take us to the top of the nearest mountain.

Batangas is also where I discovered Buko pie, my newest dessert-related obsession. I'm definitely going to have to make this for myself when I get back to the US and have access to a full kitchen.

Our final day in Manila was spent wandering around the downtown and business districts. Unlike Bonondo, this is the rich area. It was extremely nice, modern, and crazily expensive. We found a cheap little Mexican restaurant to hang out in for a while before our flight, though, and enjoyed some nachos and margaritas.

My final thought on Manila is that, just like a lot of the rest of Asia, the astounding poverty and the shocking riches live very closely side by side. Manila took it to a whole new level though. It is interesting to note that the Philippines was the first democracy in Asia, and is also the only Catholic nation. I don't want to get overly political here, because I'm not even sure what my point is. These are all pretty complex concepts, and it would be way too easy and simple (and wrong) to draw the conclusion that one just causes the other. Either way, it is something that was on my mind all weekend. The poverty was just so bad, and it was right next to some over the top malls and gigantic bank skyscrapers. Are these the things democracy and Catholicism stand for?

I'm not sure. I'm not sure if I'll ever know. They say "Travel broadens the mind", but really it's not that simple. I don't feel like my year abroad has made me smarter or wiser, but it has certainly made me much more unsure of everything I thought I knew.

Weeks 41-44 - You're Still Reading This? or, I'm Still Writing this?

We went to Beijing, and it was pretty wonderful.

After hearing lukewarm things about it from coworkers who have been there, and after having experienced some of the most touristy areas of China (i.e. Hangzhou and Suzhou), I had extremely low expectations.

Beijing is a city with 21,000,000 residents. The May holiday that I was about to embark on was, by a lovely coincidence, the most popular time to travel to Beijing of the year. I expected cheap, tourist-trap type attractions that were absolutely brimming with an unfathomable number of Chinese tourists.

In the end, Beijing was very touristy, but it was still awesome.

Our hostel was in a Hutong. Hutongs are basically just alleys, but the alleys in Beijing are world famous. At first I couldn't figure out why, but after our second day there it finally hit me: The Hutongs make you forget you're in this huge insane loud busy modern city.

There we were in the middle of downtown, and walking through this Hutong you'd never know it. The Hutongs looked and felt like some provincial town in China 300 years ago. I don't think they've changed much since then. They were quiet and, while they were dirty and very "Alley-like" they felt very intimate and personal. Like you were the only person in all of China at that very moment.

The hostel itself was in a very old private residence, It was a courtyard style building that was brimming with old-style "Chinese" feeling. This was a very welcome departure from a lot of other places that I have stayed, namely my own apartment!

Exploring the city with Laura, her brother Kevin, and her brother's friend (now my friend too) Dr. Jim was a lot of fun. I wish that I could have visitors come to see me all of the time because it totally reinvigorates me. I am someone who really likes to "see things through others' eyes", and showing someone around Chinese cities and cultures allows me to vicariously experience it all for the first time again.

It is hard to believe how much I used to love it here, but the proof is staring me in the face every time I open up this blog. The blog itself is a monument to an idea that I've already almost abandoned. The thought that China was going to change my life and be totally amazing all the time. Of course I would want to keep track of literally every single thing that I do! I'm going to want to remember every day I spend in the magical Orient, won't I? Obviously I should make it public, too, since everyone I know is going to want to take time out of their day to read my writing and hear about all the amazing stuff.

Clearly I have become a lot more jaded. Updates twice a week became updates once a week, which have slowly become bi-weekly updates. Sitting here at my kitchen table I look up at the original title of this post and I realize that it has been almost a month since my last update. The gas tank is really running dry on my desire to keep sharing things. I know it is good for me; it is both valuable writing practice and a therapeutic way to debrief. Still, I kind of just want to make this experience hurry up and be over with. Maybe I don't want to remember everything. Maybe there's a reason I have updated less and less. I certainly haven't shared absolutely everything. My opinions, both sickly sweet good and bile-ridden bad, about a lot of the people that I have interacted with in China are certainly whitewashed and censored since I know that at least some people read this. These entries probably seem like I am bleeding my heart all over the page, and wearing my emotions right on my digital sleeve, but there is a LOT that I have left out for one reason or another. With time those memories may fade.

But I digress. These feelings immediately go away when I have some new blood to accompany me. Here Kevin, try these AMAZING grilled chicken hearts! Jim, you heard me right, we can drink a beer while walking down the street! Look at how much money and pride that the Chinese poor into infrastructure projects like subways and public restrooms!

There are so many things good here in China, and Beijing might be one of the best examples. All it takes is genuine friends and family to share it with, and a trip to a city 1200 miles away from my own.

Aside from the hutongs and all the food options, Beijing's biggest and most obvious draw is all of the amazing historical sights. It is easy to drop into hyperbole when talking about places like the Great Wall or the Forbidden City. One cannot help but use capital letters when typing, or even just saying their names. I sort of assumed that a lot of it would be overrated. The biggest tourist attractions are rarely the best things about a place, I am beginning to learn.

Once again, China proved me wrong. The Forbidden City was amazing. It was straight out of Mulan. Laura and Kevin and I couldn't help but sing some of our favorite songs from that classic Disney cartoon as we roved around the sprawling royal complex. Even the insane heat and the crispy sunburn on my back did not dampen the mood. And the Forbidden City was probably the least greatest thing we visited!

Tiananmen Square, the Front Gate, The Temple of Heaven, and Lama Temple, the Drum and Bell towers. All of these places were so great. It is very easy to get caught up in the drama of daily life and forget how incredible China's history is. When you're squished on a bus between a screaming granny and 6 foot tall 40 lb dude who doesn't believe in deodorant, the foremost thought on your mind is rarely how this culture is one of the oldest continuously existing ones on the planet.

Climbing one of the many (many, many, many) flights of stairs in any of these historical zones quickly reminds you why Chinese people are so proud of their cultural heritage, and affirms that they have every right to feel that way. I won't go too far into details about any of these sites. I am not the first, hundredth, or even millionth person to write about them, and I won't be the last. I'm definitely not the best writer to talk about them either. So if you want to know more, why don't you go and read a book or two on Chinese history? Suffice it to say, they are all well worth the trip and the often long waits to see them.

The accomplishments are even more impressive once you realize how hard Mao worked to destroy all of Chinese history and heritage throughout most of the 20th century. To have failed so mightily to crush the spirit of Beijing might be one of China's proudest moments. I hope someday they allow themselves the self-reflection necessary to realize that.

The trip wasn't all roses and sunflowers though. There were plenty of goofy Chinese moments that didn't make any sense. The zaniest thing was probably our trip to the Great Wall. We had booked a driver through our hostel, and they picked us on at 6am on Sunday morning.

We had settled on a trip to Jinshanling, one of the farthest away areas of the wall that visitors are allowed to climb. It was to be a 4 hour bus ride. The bus was already full of people from all over the world by the time we were picked up.

It got off to a rocky start when our tour guide, a relative well-spoken man named David, forgot that the tour promised breakfast on the way out. He, obviously embarrassed, pulled over the bus and ran into a party store for nearly half an hour. He came out with 18 or so loaves of raisin bread. So that was our breakfast.

This tour group was an interesting microcosm of the world. Indeed, it was a lot like the UN, except a lot less professional, organized, and intelligent. We had people from the USA  and China, (obviously), Canada, Malaysia, The Netherlands, France, England, Spain, and more on board. Everyone spoke decent enough English. The car ride out was a cavalcade of people watching and people listening for me and the Kuznias. Everyone spent the ride bragging, posturing, and being almost unbearably annoying to one another.

Our bus ride included the Malaysian man, whom we named "14 houses", since he liked to talk about how he owned 14 houses. His favorite person to talk to was "Wikipedia", a girl from Chicago who was queen of the know-it-alls (and this is coming from a card carrying member of the same club). They were the most vocal of the bunch, and together they made the ride a lot more interesting if not a lot more teeth-grindingly obnoxious.

The wall itself was intense. You have to be in pretty much the best possible shape of your life if you intend on climbing and hiking along it. There are other locations for visitors much closer to Beijing which have been "updated" for tourists. These places have elevators and hand rails and brand new sidewalks along the top of the wall. Jinshanling, though, is almost entirely unrestored. It looks much the same way it has for nearly 800 years, although a bit shabby in some places.

Breathtaking doesn't really describe the view from the top, nor the experience as a whole. At several points on the bus ride I questioned if it would be worth it in the end. 4 hours each way, plus a crazy high admission fee and all the chatty Kathy's on the bus ride were altogether a pretty high price to be paying. Once I hit the peak, though, I knew it was indeed worth it. The Great Wall is something that EVERYONE should try and see in their lifetimes. It may be a lofty goal for some or all of you, but it is definitely one worth striving for.

A word of caution to this tale, however. Even though Jinshanling was far enough away from the city that there were not many tourists, it was absolutely crawling with peasant farmers trying to sell souvenirs.

I am totally sympathetic to these people. They live a hard life farming in a harsh region of the world. They are all very poor, and subsidizing their meager income by trying to get the better or some gawpy wide-eyed tourists is not only their right but actually a pretty good idea. My biggest problem with these ladies is that they are tricky. They are dressed like other hikers, and their English is good enough (and my Chinese decent enough) that they try to act like your friends. "Let's climb the mountain together!" the say. They take advantage of a lot of the good will that tourists tend to want to convey, and hike along with you for several hours. After getting you alone (and away from the less-than-vigilant eyes of park security, they open their bags and start trying to sell you all kinds of useless crap. The other annoying thing is that they are totally relentless. We were followed by a literal pack of these ladies for over 2 hours. They did not leave or stop trying to sell us stuff until near the end of the hike when we got to the steepest and most dangerous area of the wall. Even after we said no thank you, and that we wouldn't be buying a souvenir under any circumstances.

But the wall is greater than these ladies, and they didn't put any kind of real damper on the day.

Probably the biggest disappointment in Beijing was the Peking duck. Considered one of the single top dinners you can eat in the entire world, true Peking duck is only available in Beijing. Duck might be my favorite meat, and after BJ lived up to all of its other promises my mouth was definitely watering for the duck.

First of all, this duck is insanely expensive. Second of all, it's really not that amazing. Sure, it was good. In fact, it was great. But I would say that after almost a year here that I have had equally good duck meat at a hundred other locations around the country, and for nearly 1/5 the price. If I could do it all over again, this is the one thing I would probably skip.

Oh! And another thing. The night markets in Beijing suck. Being so close to the center of the national government, they are incredibly highly regulated. The night markets in Beijing, fully aware of their draw for international tourists, try their best to live up to the expectations of a chaotic and lively area full of strange and delicious exotic delights. Sadly, the effect just doesn't work. All of the stalls are lined up in a nice row, and all of the stalls look identical. Everything is a little too clean, and even the prices are fixed. What's the point of a night market if you can't argue about the prices? Plus, since only tourists come to them, the prices at the night market are insane. A plane Coca Cola, for example, is about 9 RMB at a restaurant in China, and as low as 3 or 4 RMB at a party store. Here at the tourist night market they were asking over 20 RMB. That's almost $4, a price you'd expect to find in the states.

Sadly, as with all good things, the trip had to come to an end. Kevin and Dr. Jim flew to Hong Kong/Macao for a few days before returning to America, and Laura and I went back to Foshan.

It may be simple-minded of me to say nothing has happened this month, but I will say that there is a reason I haven't updated this web page in over 28 days.

They say that the rainy season in China lasts from about the end of February to July or August, but I am here to tell you that it exists almost entirely in May.

It has rained, no joke, every single day here since coming back to Beijing. Often times it is an intense and turgid sort of rain that you see in David Attenborough documentaries about rain forests. It can and does rain several inches per day in Foshan.

Since we caught the tail end of the rainy season last year (where it only rained once), and had gotten through most of February and March (where it only rained once or twice), we made the dumb decision to send most of our rain gear home with Laura's siblings.

We have been so wet, every single day!

Beyond the rain though, there is little to report. I am filling my time practicing my Chinese (at a much slower and less intense rate than before), trying to recapture my skills at German, and reading. We have planned out the rest of our weekends and our trips between now and when we come back to the USA in August, and so any other free time is mostly spend finalizing plane and train tickets.

Nonetheless, some of the highlights of May have been as follows:

-Discovering a parasitic worm infestation on our bathroom floor. They come out of our leaky sink that I have been asking my boss/landlord to fix since before Christmas.

-Discovering a termite infestation in our apartment. This one was especially funny since there is no wood in the building! What are they eating???

-Going to a house party with some Chinese friends. It was a bit surreal, in that it was a lot like a party in Michigan (or anywhere in the US), but also very different. We got to grill some delicious food though! I can't wait to bring home a lot of Chinese grilling secrets back to MI. I hope you're all up for a few barbecues.

-Seeing the Avengers in a legit Chinese movie theater. It was the authentic China experience. People on their phones the entire time, often taking full, loud, long phone calls right at the most dramatic parts of the film.

-Making more friends at a different convenience store. I swear after a year here the majority of the people who I have met that have wanted to be my friend are convenience store owners. These ones gave us a free umbrella! Which has come in handy...

-Discovering an amazing Vietnamese restaurant in Foshan. It's our new favorite place to eat! Pho all day.

-Finding a place that sells delicious stinky tofu in Foshan. This is probably the most exotic and "acquired" tasting thing that I have found in China that I really love. You guys might think Fish heads and chicken feet are weird, but I guarantee that anyone who actually gave them a chance would love them. Stinky tofu, though? Most people probably wouldn't like it.

And that's it I think. That's the result of a good 20 minutes of wracking my brain.

School has been more of the same as usual. It's pretty mind numbing, but at least I'm used to all the BS. We had "midterm surprise" last week, where they told us on Monday that we had to write and administer midterm exams THE VERY SAME DAY and then turn in grades a few days later.

Our boss told us a month ago that our last day this year would be July 10th. Last week she told us "the last day will be July 14th", and then denied ever telling us that it was originally the 10th. Since nearly all of us had bought plane/train tickets and hotel rooms and such already, she had to acquiesce and change it back to July 10th. Seriously!! How can she do that?

So now here I am. Typing this has made me feel a lot better. Reliving sunny Beijing has given back a lot of the energy that this humid and rainy weather has tried to sap (and it WAS sunny too. Beijing had the best weather I've experienced in all of China so far. No pollution either, which I think is because it was a holiday and the factories were closed).

In this rarely true good mood, I want to recommit once again to updating this once a week. It's only for myself that I do it, and I'm only hurting myself if I don't update it. I don't care if it's bad writing or good writing, I really just want to keep writing. Dropping the habit when I have nothing better to do but write means that I'll probably not keep it up when I get back home either.

Even if only 2% of what I write is good, if I go and write long enough and hard enough then I will statistically produce a lot of good content, right?

So here's some things to look forward to hearing me write about

-I'm going to try to find, buy, kill, clean, and cook my own crabs this weekend. I've GOTTA be sure to tell you how that goes

-I am going to the Philippines next weekend for 3 days. More Balut, here I come!

-My good buddy Bryan Ranger is coming to visit shortly after that. I have promised him that we will go and get some true Hong Kong Dim Sum. This is something I've been wanting to do all year.

-I'm going to see Xiamen and the greater part of Fujian province in the middle of June. Xiamen is known as one of the cleanest, nicest, and most modern cities in China. "Little Shanghai" is its nickname.

-I'm also going to mystical Guilin to take a cruise on the Li River in July. This is one of the most beautiful and iconic parts in all of China. The Li river is featured on Chinese money, and is also what they based Kashyyk on in the Star Wars movies.

-After that, school is ending! Hope they throw us a damn party

-Once I get out of China I am going to hit up Singapore, Java Island, and Bali island before I come back home to the USA

-One last thing: Komodo Dragons

So I have a lot to look forward to! I just need to survive here a little....bit.... longer

Week 39 and 40: Around the World, or, The Road to Beijing

All things are quiet on the Eastern front.

Even this update will probably not be one of my largest. We are now well below the 3 month mark on our time left in China, and I am ready to leave.

I won't lie, I've still had quite a few hard days. Things are still quite stressful here. But, in light of the ticking time bomb of my remaining tour of duty, I've tried to live one day at a time.

These last two weeks have been surprisingly anecdote-free. This month has been "Geography" month at our school and we had originally been asked to give lessons that are "world" themed.

The month culminated last Thursday with a huge school-wide recital/dance show. True to form, the teachers decided that the recital was the most important aspect of Geography month, and literally cancelled every class for the entire month so that the kids could practice.

As such, I was only able to do one or two classes on Geography! The classes they cancelled were all the ones we were told to use to focus on the World.

Oh well, I still had a lot of fun with it. I've spent the last few weeks learning all of the countries in the world and learning a lot about Oceania, which is the continent I was told to focus on with my classes.

We did some fun crafts and learned some fun songs. Every foreign teacher was assigned a continent about which we were supposed to give a 15 minute presentation on the school's TV network. It was fun being a TV star! I could see it becoming an addicting new hobby...

By and large the most fascinating part of my experience these last few weeks was getting a front row seat at discovering how Chinese people view the rest of the world.

Talking to my students about other places in the world, I learned that they don't really know anything beyond their own back yard. They knew about China, Japan, and Korea. Several kids knew about Vietnam and Thailand. Everyone knew about the USA.

That was it.

This was not exclusive to the kids either, a lot of the Chinese teachers were shockingly ignorant about things that I completely take for granted, like being able to use a map. Aside from China, most of my kids could not locate a single country on a map! Some of them didn't even know where China was.

Knowing anything about animals, food, native peoples, or anything else was also exceedingly rare. What's an Australian animal? What kind of food do they eat in Mexico? What is Africa? Nobody could really answer these questions.

This all came to a head during the big show. Each class was assigned a continent or a country, and they put on a song/dance show based on the cultures they were assigned.

There were several comical missteps. South America was labeled "South Africa", and not a single teacher who saw it thought to correct it (and no one listened to me either!). North America became known as "home of the rugby balls".

The class that was assigned Asia, shockingly, just did a show about Chinese culture. They did a quick bit about India, since one of our foreign teachers if from India, and they also had a brief segment on K-Pop. It was all surrounded by lots of kung fu.

And then there was Africa. The African show had all the children wearing leopard skin loin clothes, wearing bone-themed jewelry, and running around shaking bones and spears at everyone. At this point, nothing in China surprises me.

They also played a Ricky Martin song to represent both Africa and South America. The exact same song. Nevermind the fact that he's from Puerto Rico, how could they have thought the same song was representative of both continents??

The Foreign teachers were once again co-opted into the show. Laura and I were cast as sheep farmers for the Australian number. They bought me some of the biggest overalls I've ever seen, and overall it was a lot of fun. I got to do my best Australian accent on the stage and, since nobody knew better anyway, the whole audience went nuts.

On Friday the Geography festival month wrapped up with a food fair. This day was equal parts fun and nightmare. On the one hand, we got to eat a ton of free food and didn't have any expectations or work to do. On the other hand, we still had to be at work for the whole 8 hour day and had to walk around the festival and let the Chinese people take pictures of us. We had to wear our costumes from the night before, and I was roasting in my jean overalls in the 90 degree heat.

I'll be honest, the constant cameras really got to me after a while. You can only be treated like a dancing bear at a circus for so many hours in a row in sweltering heat before you snap. It was not entirely a good day.

There were some interesting choices for the food. Once again, each continent was represented and there were several food specialties at each place.

Some highlights:

-Every single continent had Fried Chicken and French fries cooked from our school cafeteria. Including Antarctica. The North America station had fried chicken from the school AND fried Chicken from KFC.

-They had Korean beer at the Asia station. Presumably this was for parents, but there was very little supervision, and everyone thought I was weird for questioning having cases of beers at an elementary school.

-The Australian station had dim sum.

-South America had "tacos". Some of the foulest and grossest things I've ever tasted.

-Africa had nachos and cheese as well as plain sliced bread

I ate too much and then went home early.

Our weekends have been spent doing very little lately, I am sad to say. Laura and I have both had to work on the last few Sundays, so we have been unable to go away for the weekend. Also, we have been trying to save money because are headed to Beijing this coming weekend!

Great Wall here we come!

Only 74 more days and then my whole year in China is already over...

Some photos

Here's me as an armadillo. My example from a class writing prompt.

People shippin' trees

Leon becomes an architect

And a Penguin

Some of my kids

Farmville

The big performance! The kids in the audience got lightsabers.

The "Asia" show

As part of Geography month, all the foreign teachers had to design this big poster boards. Laura and I are proud of ours.

Found a nicer place than my apartment

Pictures from Week 38

Let's go to a theme park and a zoo!

Laura was happy at this point in the day... the roller coasters weren't HURTING US yet

In this roller coaster you get strapped in by your ankles and your forearms. It's like riding a motor cycle! It was literally a 15 second ride, otherwise it would have been cool.

Zhujiang New Town at dusk is awesome! The sidewalk lights up

And changes color!

First spotting of the moon in nearly a year

Then I made a new friend...

This asshole was taking pictures of Laura, Carol, and David, and wasn't even being sneaky about it. I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine

A hairy little primate... and a monkey!

A gigantic armored beast with a huge nose. And a rhinoceros!

A family of large-assed tree climbers... and some baboons!

This tiger was on a perch! How weird!

I found this exhibit mildly offensive. They just seemed like normal people to me

This tiny bird liked to whisper secrets to me

Visit from my second family!

Lil' Sebastian

Leon is a TV star

 

Zac is a TV Star

This guy decided to just pass out in the middle of the damn street because it was a nice day.

He was still there a half hour later!

He wasn't dead I promise

Week 38: Family - Musings on Blood, Water, and a Little Kid Named Kelvin

There is a popular old saying which most people know that says that "Blood is thicker than water". What this essentially means is that your family is/should be more important than other people. The folks that you share DNA with share a more intimate connection with you than those with whom you just share some water (or steamed dumplings and chicken livers, should that be the case).

There is another, somewhat less popular and even older saying that fewer people know which says that "Blood is thicker than water". See, when the phrase originally cropped up at the turn of the last millennium, it actually meant the exact opposite. Those who are "blood brothers", either through entering into a covenant or through battle, are closer in reality than brothers who share "the waters of the womb".

The juxtaposition of these two interpretations of the same, admittedly played out nugget of wisdom reached its zenith when CBS's show Survivor decided to test it out. Twice now, Survivor has had seasons where loved ones were forced to play the same game together and, ultimately decide where to place their loyalties in order to get to the end. Would you vote your own mother out of the game if it meant you could win $1,000,000?

So who is right and who is wrong? Are we really closer to our families or with the people who we share space with? Did anyone even realize that Survivor was still on TV?

I think that the answer is much more complicated than that. I'd like to muddle around in these waters for a bit.

The idea for this post came about with the arrival of Laura's sister and brother (one of her brothers) this week. That's right, for the sole reward of getting to spend time with me and her, Laura's kin traveled over 7000 miles and endured more than 6 grueling flights to come to the land of bean curds and rice cakes.

It was truly a breath of fresh air when they arrived. I mean this just as literally as I do metaphorically. Easter weekend was a holiday weekend in China called "Tomb Sweeping Festival" and, probably due to all the factories being shut down so that the workers could go and sweep their ancestral tombs, the air was clear and crisp. We actually saw the sun, the moon, and some stars this past weekend!

Socially, it was also just very nice to be around some people that we have known for so long. Being around them again was like slipping on an old pair of shoes, except not quite as smelly. I have grown pretty close with a lot of my coworkers here, but it was a huge relief to spend some time with people this week that don't require any "work". We all know each other and have known each other for a very long time. We're all well past the awkward stages that accompany new relationships.

Since they could only be here for about a week, our sight-seeing options were rather limited. Ultimately, the Kuznias did most of their touring around by themselves while we were at work. I made it my personal goal for when we were all free and available to be together to show off all of the best food that Foshan has to offer. We took them too all of the big hits, and managed to highlight a number of different and delicious Chinese cuisines in the short span of the week.

As a vegetarian, I think that Carol had a tougher time encountering some of the more blunt aspects of Chinese culture. She was also more limited in terms of what kinds of foods she could really experience. Still, she was a very good sport and definitely took advantage of some of the new flavors that were presented to her.

David, Laura's brother, dove in head first. He ate everything I threw at him and loved pretty much all of it. I hope that he goes home with good memories of some of the more delicious aspects of the People's Republic.

We didn't just sit around eating all day every day, though. We spent most of Sunday walking around Foshan city. I showed them all of the points of interest, and some of the more interesting/strange aspects of life here. They came over to our apartment and felt how insanely uncomfortable our couch and our beds are, and we all had a good laugh.

Monday, the date of the actual holiday proper, we took them to the Guangzhou Safari Zoo that Laura and I originally visited in October. Now that I am pretty much "over" China, I have to admit that I was quite a bit less impressed with the zoo this time around. That being said, it is still head and shoulders above just about everything else you can see or do in this part of the country. The park is so big, nice, and clean. It's a shining example of what is possible in China, even if it does have a fake theme-parky vibe to it. The koalas and the pandas are still cute as hell, by the way!

Speaking of theme parks, the Saturday before the Kuznias' plane arrived Laura and I went to an amusement park. This park is owned and operated by the same people who do the safari zoo; in fact, it is in the same resort grounds. Similar to the safari park, the amusement park is very highly rated, and also comes with a swath of awards and accolades. They brag that they have more roller coasters than any park in Asia, that they are the largest amusement park in Asia, and that each of their roller coasters have an award or distinction.

The first ride we went on was incredible. Touted as the "tallest free falling roller coaster in the world", it was definitely a ride of world-class variety. The name was somewhat less impressive. Yes, "Very Large Free Fall Roller Coaster" lived up to all of the hype that its moniker promised. We only had to wait in line for about 5 minutes, and we discovered that the entire park had free wifi. These all seemed to be very good omens for a day of coastering.

Unfortunately, and you'll have to forgive the dad pun, it all went downhill from there. There were only three roller coasters in the park, not six or eight or whatever they claimed. It turns out that China's definition of a roller coaster is much wider than mine. Perhaps I've been spoiled by Cedar Point, but the entire place was an enormous disappointment.

People didn't help the situation much either. Chinese people, as I have discussed before, don't really "do" lines or queues. Everything is always a crushing mad dash of chaos, whether it is a walmart check out line or boarding a subway. I was hoping against hope that it would be different here. Firstly, the cost of the theme park was rather prohibitively expensive for a lot of people in China. I thought maybe that the other guests in the park would be foreign tourists or well-educated and highly-experienced Chinese citizens who would be familiar with line etiquette. I also thought that the general rules of theme parks would mean that the staff wouldn't allow any shenanigans.

I was completely wrong. Everyone cut in line like they were cutting a slice of the world's most delicious cake. It was miserable chaos and it made waiting in line 10x worse than waiting in line already was. Walmart is one thing, but a roller coaster queue is sacred!

The other roller coasters were really lame, and in the case of one of them it was downright painful. Their other world record coaster was one that flips upside down more times than any other coaster. The laughingly titled "Ten Inversions Roller Coaster Ride" was not nearly as funny when we were on-board. The seats were designed for someone much smaller than me, and they did not hold my head down properly. All of the banks, turns, and inversions set my delicate noggin bouncing between the restraints like a pinball with Parkinson's. This being China, the restrains were also not very soft. I very literally walked away with bruises on both sides of my head. I wouldn't recommend the theme park to anyone.

Anyway, for the rest of the week Carol and David explored all of the big sights in Foshan and Guangzhou, including Xiqiao Mountain and Zumiao temple. Every night was a revelry of fried noodles and crispy duck skins.

Having them present allowed me to reassess how I feel about China. Seeing their eyes light up with wonder and their brows furrow with confusion/curiosity reminded me of what I liked about this place in the first few months. They experienced a lot of the same crap as me, but without any of the tired bitterness that I've been struggling with on and off since Christmas. Maybe China isn't so bad after all, especially when you can focus on the good things and have the gift of experience with knowing what restaurants to avoid and what sites are overrated.

I'm not saying that I want to stay here any longer at all, or even that I like this place that much more than I did last week, just that Carol and David provided a new and vicarious perspective with which I could interface.

The naps helped too. I was lucky enough to use their hotel room during lunch breaks during the work week, when they were out exploring. Their hotel was super classy and nice, and the beds were like sleeping on a cloud. Hell, even the floor was nice. On their last night in China, Laura and I stayed at their hotel room so we could get up bright and early and take them to the airport. I'm not even joking, the floor of this hotel room was much more comfortable than my Chinese bed in my apartment. I slept like a baby. A baby on a floor.

The day of their departure was a stressful one. I was sad to see them go after what felt like such a short visit. Also, China was working extra hard to inconvenience everyone. David and Carol very nearly missed their flight. At this point Laura and I are very experienced with nearly missing flights in China, and even we were sweating. I think that they made it onto the plane with only 1 or 2 minutes to spare. It was a big headache to say the least. Laura and I weren't much help in the matter, since we were sending home some extra bags full of clothes that we are unable to wear in China (because it's always way too hot or way too cold). The extra bag checking added time to what was already too much stuff to do before they boarded their jet.

So what did their visit teach me? Is blood thicker than water?

Well, for one thing I'm not technically related to them. Even still, I really do see them as family at this point. After dating Laura for nearly half a decade I have gotten quite close with the rest of her clan. I would have loved for my own brother and sister or my mother to come and visit me while I am here, but since that was not in the cards, I found Carol and David to be a quite acceptable substitute.

We've shared holidays together, spent time together for fun, and now have a journey to China that we will all share in the memory of for the rest of our lives. Just like when my sister came and visited me in Germany all those years ago, it was a time for us to grow closer as a unit or a group. Does one really have to wait until they are legally married to someone before the lines between their family and your family blur? I don't think so...

This, of course, got me thinking about my actual blood relations. I haven't seen them for almost 9 months now. A whole baby could go from not existing to existing in that time, and in fact it has already happened with a few friends of mine. Still, I don't feel any more or less close to them than I did before. I still talk to my mother nearly every day on the internet, and I speak with my siblings just about every week. Heck I've even managed to get ahold of my grandma a few times!

Time and distance, it seems, need not have any effect on how you feel about your family bonds. I cannot wait to see all of them when I get home, but I am also comfortable in knowing that I am comfortable in being away from them for large periods of time without fear of damaging our ties.

This leaves out the last key ingredient to my post: pretty much everyone else. There are friends, coworkers, acquaintances, and strangers. Is it possible to feel attachments to them that are as strong or stronger than the attachments you feel toward your or your significant others' families?

There are countless examples in television and in film of groups of coworkers becoming surrogate families to one another. The most obvious one is probably The Office (UK or US). Obviously the real world is much less of a fairy-tale place, but I do think that there is something to be said about people who you spend so much time with. In my exact situation, this effect is compounded by the fact that the 7 of us foreign teachers live and work together, and we're pretty much all that we have. In a country of 1.3 billion people, we are some of the only people that we can possible interact with within several hours of travel.

Neighbors, coworkers, and friends, these labels were all very quickly blurred. They were blurred so much so that I frequently forget that I have only known these people for a few months. Sometimes my feelings get hurt when they don't act the way that I expect them to, and then I remind myself that they are still essentially strangers to me. They don't owe me anything, nor are they socially expected to behave any particular way around me. If I were at home and I had a 40 hour a week job, I wouldn't be seeing these folks half as much as I do now. If one of 'em did something to piss me off I would simply be annoyed about it for half an hour and then move on with my life.

I don't have that luxury here, for better or worse. When I get home from work, I see them again. If I want to do something on the weekend, they are the ones who are available to hang out. If I go for a jog on a Sunday morning, I will most likely see one or two of them.

Through all of that, I think I am very fortunate to have fallen into the pool with such a great group of individuals. After a few weeks of somewhat awkward situations, we've all clicked together pretty well. I like these people, and I have a feeling they like me too.

My propensity for immediately wanting to be best friends with all of these people is probably due to the fact that I have had pretty much the same core group of friends for almost 11 years now. Ever since the beginning of high school. Sure, I've lost touch with some, and gained a number of new ones since (despite the Club motto), but that core group has really stuck through for a long time now. I've forgotten what it is like to have friends who I'm not "best" friends with, because my friends at home truly are the best friends possible. The line between "friend" and "family" was blurred with these folks a long time ago, and will probably never go back.

Even the Chinese ladies in our office, who have a much wider gap to cross so to speak, have developed quite a rapport with the rest of us. I wouldn't say that I am quite as close to them, but I do think that it's interesting what having a common goal (teaching kids) and spending a lot of time together can lead to.

This brings me finally to Kelvin. Kelvin is my favorite student at our school. He's in 4th grade and is, most of the time, a little shit. He's so much farther advanced than the rest of the kids that he gets easily bored, and yet despite his occasionally bad behavior I can't help but love the little guy.

He SOAKS up English like a lexical sponge, and he is the only one who ever is willing to ask me questions during class. I am talking real questions, too, not just "can you say it again?".

Kelvin loves to play the tough guy in class, and act like the ring leader. Ever since we implemented a "no Chinese" rule in class, Kelvin is the one who is the enforcer. He's also the one who is not even remotely slowed down by the rule.

Sure, sometimes he royally gets on my nerves. I've had to kick him out of class once or twice, and he is always sure to tow the line between being friendly with me and being sarcastically snotty. In between classes he likes to tell me about video games he plays, and I like to show him cool game apps on my phone. He tries to beat my high scores and he never will because he sucks.

When I look at Kelvin I get excited for the potential for China's future. He is proud of his Chinese heritage but he isn't ignorant. He loves English and western culture, but has no desire to abandon where he came from. His intelligence and his intuition is something that I sadly do not see in a lot of older Chinese people, but it's clear that Kelvin and his generation have the potential to change a lot of that.

Now, I wouldn't consider Kelvin a friend or a "coworker". Even though he has been one of the few kids to make me feel truly welcome and good to be a teacher, I wouldn't characterize our relationship as anything beyond teacher and student.

Basically the point of all this is that family is a nebulous term. I think that who we are close with, who we care about, really has the potential to be anyone. The key ingredients are spending time, having a common goal, and maybe a little special ineffable something. Throughout life we form a lot of key relationships with people. If we are lucky, that group of people will be of all kinds of genders, nationalities, ethnicities, and backgrounds.

Considering that I'm on the other side of the planet, meeting young men and women from all over the world and forming connections with them, I guess I should count myself very lucky indeed.

(By the way those seasons of Survivor seem to indicate that, unless you are a teen mom daughter of a teen mom, you will probably allign more closely with your family than with your assigned tribe. For what it's worth, if I were on Survivor I would vote every single one of you out in a heartbeat.)

Weeks 36 and 37: Yakking about Goats and Kidding about Yaks

I will say this much about March: It really flew by!

Life here is not getting much better or easier, I would say, but it seems to be picking up the pace. When I think about how I still have 3 and a half months left in China, it feels like forever. However, when I think about it as less than 100 days (and even fewer working days!) then it really does not seem like much time at all.

This re-situation of my perception has really helped. Now it's not about how much time I still have to go to work, but it's about how much I still want to do before we leave! There is still so much China to see and do!

Dim sum! We still haven't done dim sum! That most quintessential of Chinese meal experiences among yuppies and hipsters alike, and we have not done it. To add much insult to injury, dim sum was invented in Guangzhou. We are in the very heart of dim sum town and yet have not tasted the forbidden nectar of teacakes and dessert dumplings. It's the name of my blog for Mao's sake! Such a cardinal sin has never been committed by a self-professed Sinophile.

Although, it is not from lack of trying. Last Sunday there was a valiant effort on the part of Laura and I. After trying (and failing) valiantly to raise the interest of our Chinese and our Foreign coworkers, the two of us set off for a restaurant personally recommended by our boss. It was intimidating and I was nervous, but I'd eaten at enough Chinese restaurants that I assumed I'd be able to figure it out.

Sadly, this was not a day of victory. The dim sum restaurant was just too big and too chaotic. Four or five stories, each with private rooms and also 600 seat dining rooms laid before us. I meekly approached the hostess and told her (in perfect Chinese, thank you very much) that we wanted a table for two. She grunted in an ironically disgruntled way and handed me a pink slip of paper. The paper had nothing on it, no English or Chinese, save for a large handwritten number 75. 75 what? 75 minutes until we are seated? Were we supposed to head to table 75? Perhaps room 75? Were there 75 luftballons waiting for us somewhere?

We moseyed around looking for the answer to this clue. There weren't really any numbers anywhere. Every area looked much the same as the last, and there were far too many people around. Stressful does not really begin to explain the situation. Before finally giving up, we discovered the room where they have all the "fresh" and "still living" food on display. Look what you can order! Most of it was fish, of course, but there were also snakes and some sort of beaver as well. Who wants to eat a beaver? Some Chinese family, apparently.

The big event at school last week was the parent-teacher day. Also known as "open lessons", every foreign teacher had three classes that were open for parents to come and observe. Of course, it couldn't be as simple as just letting them see a normal lesson. No, we had to once again come up with a very strict script, and then rehearse the hell out of the classes. Not only the teachers, but also the students, had to memorize all of the details so that the parents would be led to believe that every class is totally perfect and that every child is a total genius.

At this point, as I have made abundantly clear to everyone, I am pretty much completely jaded. I don't really care, and I'm sick of lying to myself and to the parents of these poor kids. However, for the Chinese teachers their entire careers and futures are literally on the line. It was a pretty stressful week despite my constant efforts to remain Joe Cool about everything. I was pretty heated at the time, especially the way Annie, one of the teachers, was treating me. But, now that it's been two weeks it's all sort of laughable. Maybe there's a benefit to waiting a whole week or two before I make another post. It's less writing for me, and also a lot of things that seemed like a big deal at the time don't seem so bad anymore!

Anyway, the schedules changed and re-changed, as per usual, and the number and variety of different things that were to be included in our open lessons also changed faster than I could blink. By the end of the week, each open class was almost like a little variety show. There was singing, dancing, and games. All of them like well-oiled machines.

The arrival of the open classes came without too much fanfare. I was ready for mine, and I had even mentally prepared for everything and everyone to disappoint me. Just as I had predicted, and regardless of my constant efforts to stop it from happening, all of the Chinese teachers really dropped the ball. They didn't have any of the materials necessary for the craft project we were doing with the parents. Oh well, I winged it like a total champ!

Instead of thanks, though, I get a chewing out from the aforementioned Annie. She asked my why my presentation was shorter than I had told her it would be, and why I didn't do a craft. My response was simply the truth, that the foreign teachers had been informed that the purchasing of the materials was the Chinese teachers responsibility, and that it was her fault that we didn't have the stuff. I even reminded her of all the times I reminded her to get them. Perhaps I have made an enemy in her, but really I don't see how it could have gone any other way.

I often wonder how the Chinese teachers perceive me. Sure I spend paragraph after paragraph talking about how I see them and how weird they appear, but what is the shoe like on the other foot?

I really wish that I had more insight into the matter, but I simply don't. It's so difficult to get into their heads. I think I probably stress them out, and they probably also think that I'm a uppity prima donna. Perhaps this is true to an extent, although I'd like to think that I am very patient with them. They must wonder why I get annoyed when the plans change so suddenly, or when they lie to my face and I catch them doing it.

What is it like to live in their world? I try to live a Chinese lifestyle here but I don't think a year is enough time. Sure I am getting used to a lot of the stuff, but on a primal level it is all just so foreign to me. Things that I take for granted as for being obvious, such as telling the truth or keeping a promise, are completely foreign concepts to just about everyone I interact with on a daily basis.

Deep down we're all just people though, I suppose. I really need to work on taking my experiences here for granted. Even the bad ones are a time for me to learn. Right?

We spent the day in Guangzhou on Saturday, and made sure to hit up a bunch of the places that we hadn't seen yet. We went to the Chen Clan Academy, which is a museum and folk art collection in an ancient building that used to belong to the Chen Clan. Back a few centuries ago, several different families who all had the last name Chen decided to pool their money and build a sort of halfway home or a guesthouse. The house was free to use if you were a Chen from anywhere in China or anywhere in the world. It got a lot of use from students and journeymen who had to come to Guangzhou to take various tests to get into various programs.

I think if it was the first place I had ever gone in China I would have been amazed. The building is beautiful and a lot of the art was stunning. The effect was somewhat lost on me because I have been to a lot of museums and folk-art places so far. Either way, for 10 RMB (less than $2), it was a great place to spend an hour or two.

The other big stop that day was Yuexiu park, the biggest municipal park in China. There was a whole theme park in there, and also this really big statue of some goats. The goat is the official symbol of Guangzhou for some reason. Since it is now the year of the goat, Guangzhou is having a bit of a bit year and the statue is even more of a tourist attraction than it usually is.

Our big day in the city ended at a Tibetan restaurant. I really would like to go to Tibet someday, but it is definitely off the table for this trip around the world. Way too out of the way and way too expensive! But a trip to a Tibet cuisine restaurant seemed like the best alternative.

The food was so good! Most of the dishes on the menu were either goat or yak. We had a bit of both, and both meats were totally delicious. I think my favorite dish was the spicy yak, but we also had these little yak burritos and they were equally awe inspiring. The burritos came with a sugary sweet sauce. Truth be told, it was one of the most expensive meals we've had in China, and it may have been a little too pricey for how much we got. The lack, if any, in quantity was definitely made up for in quality.

In the following week at school (37) was the very beginning of our Carnival month. April is a month where we focus our lessons on a theme. This year the theme is "All 7 continents", and so we will be doing a lot of fun geography lessons. I'm completely stoked, because I love geography! I also am a true believer in the idea that kids learn best when they are engaged. Language acquisition, especially, requires true interest and "real world" situations. I hope to spend a lot of time this month talking about travel, and showing off some of the amazing places in the world that I have been, and would still like to go!

Since there are 7 continents and 7 foreign teachers, we were each assigned one to "specialize" in (Leon got Antarctica. Sorry mate). I was assigned Oceania, which is really exciting. The kids are going to learn so much about surfing and coral reefs and conservation!

I really can't wait. Sure, the usual BS pervaded a lot of the week, but I was so engaged in preparing awesome lessons that Friday arrived before I even knew what hit me.

Saturday (yesterday) was another Guangzhou day. This time Laura and I decided to check out the Chimelong Amusemet park. The Chimelong resort is the place that has the amazing zoo and safari park that we absolutely loved back in October. We assumed that the amusement park would be up to those same standards, plus they boasted having 6 roller coasters!

Now, perhaps Cedar Point has spoiled me, but the park was an absolute failure. It all started off so well, too. We went in the south entrance and nobody seemed to be in the park! We basically walked on to the first roller coaster, and it was thrilling. It had a 90 degree free fall drop from several hundred feet. Apparently it is the tallest free fall roller coaster in the world.

We enjoyed the ride so much we thought we were in for an unforgettable day. It turns out that it was pretty unforgettable, but for all the wrong reasons. The frustrating habit of a lot of Chinese people to disregard lines was in full effect yesterday. This is something I can usually avoid or ignore in places like grocery stores, but when it is 95 degrees and we've waited 2 hours for a ride it is a completely different story.

There was also the unfortunate discovery that the "6 roller coasters" was actually 3. Their definition of roller coaster is apparently way different than mine, and they included things like a big spinning swing in their list. The other big "real" roller coaster had the distinction of having the most inversions of any ride in the world. The roller coaster was even called "The Ten Inversions Flip Mountain Roller Coaster". I was pumped to ride it, but was once again disappointed.

It was the bumpiest and most painful ride I've ever been on. If you've ever done the Mean Streak at Cedar Point, this was easily 10 times worse. I even blacked out for a minute from having my head battered so much. I wanted to count the inversions but I ended up just counting bruises.

After that disaster we were in a pretty sour mood and we decided to leave the park immediately. The rest of the day was spent at Zhujiang New Town right in the center of GZ. There was shockingly no pollution and the view of the Canton Tower was superb.

Once the sun went down we headed to the airport to pick up some very special guests. Laura's sister and one of her brothers is here to spend the week with us! We are so very excited to have some family and familiar faces here.

I'll end this post here, even though it doesn't sum up the entire week. It seems more thematically appropriate to group the entire Carol/David Kuznia China trip into one big post, which you can look for next week!

Less than 100 days left here, folks...